I Wish It Was October

So I could be pregnant M.I.A. for Halloween! Waddling on stage at an awards show on your due date equals most inapprop thing ever! Espesh if you wear what amounts to an itsy-bitsy teeny-weeny ladybug polka-dot bikini.

Also, holler Emerson baby!

Ryan Gosling's Doggie Dog World

How ador is this pic? (Courtesy of Perez, naturally, ergo the heart.) Apparently Lars is as sweet with his pups as he is with his real dolls.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY: Seth Green, who, like Andrew Keegan, is all up in his 30s now. May he ignore that fact and party like it's his heyday, which was conveninetly enough probably 1999.

Etta James Goes All Preacher Manning on Beyonce

Wow . . . Etta James seems kinda mean! At a concert this week, the legendary singer hinted at her audience that she wasn't a fan of Miss Single Ladies.

Okay, she didn't hint. She said she can't stand Beyonce and plans to "whoop her ass." She also called out Barry and said he's not her president!

Apparently Etta was pissed off that Beyonce sang "At Last" at the Neighborhood Inauguration Ball and not her. But here's the thing: Etta is 71! She was invited to the ball and couldn't even attend due to health reasons. Sad times. Def on Team Beyonce for this one.

HERE'S A SOUND CLIP: Of Etta trashing Yonce-Yonce.

Crucified Pussycats

Sweet, vintage drawings otherwise, but seriously, front and center?

How depressed did you just get?

HAPPY BIRTHDAY: Facebook! EasyStalk is 5 years old today. 

Asians Hate Miley

More adventures of the Smartest Starlet Ever.

Here's a super-classy pic of Miley Cyrus and her friends all intentionally making fun of Asians while intentionally posing for a photo which has, most likely, intentionally been leaked online.

Naturally, Asian peeps are mad! A group dedicated to "advancing the social and political well-being of Asian-Pacific Americans" told TMZ that "Miley Cyrus and the other individuals in the photograph [have] encouraged and legitimized the taunting and mocking of people of Asian descent" and "insulted her many Asian Pacific American fans." They also noted that the Asian guy in the pic doesn't make it cool.

She supposedly calls this character Hanoi Montana, which is seriously out of control if true.

I mean, really. Just take bong hits and eat Cheetos barefoot! It's worked for your predecessors. Or if you must, do something subtle like flash a peace sign and see if people read into it. And, while we're being obnoxious, is it my imagination, or is Hanoi actually prettier than Miley?

FOR FURTHER DISCUSSION: Anyone else see the dude making fun of Native Americans?

Celebrities Beware!

It turns out that if you name your kid something like Honor (left) she may be anything but honorable. A new study rolling out from Shippensburg University in Pennsylvania has determined that the more absurd a child's name is, the more likely that little peep will grow up to commit crimes in high school rather than become your general slacker jock or slutty color guard girl.

The study created a popularity-name index for many children's names. Michael was the most popular, recieving a PIN number of 100. Names like Ivan and Malcolm came in at 1.

If Malcolm, not insanely uncommon per se, rated the lowest of the names measured, things are certainly not looking good for children named Pilot Inspektor (Jason Lee), Bronx Mowgli (those Simpson-Wentzes), Peanut (Jonny Lee Miller), Audio Science (Shannyn Sossamon) and Jermajesty (Jermaine Jackson).

And if you think about it, it makes perfect sense—these kids are pissed off! The study noted that "juveniles with unpopular names may act out because they consciously or unconsciously dislike their names."

Let's all fight to make the world a better place; this news couldn't come at a better time! If you can no longer afford to donate to charity or volunteer your time, all you gotta do is get pregs and name that baby John!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY: Andrew Keegan! Remember him? 10 Things I Hate About You! That fool is 30 already.

Vanessa Hudgens To Get Naked In "New Moon"

Well, technically, at least, if she is awarded the role she has recently auditioned for! Vaness, who is famous for her role as Gabriela in High School Musical, along with being an internet porn star via some leaked nekkid pics, is vying for the role of Leah, the sole female werewolf in Jacob Black's posse. (Werewolves don't wear clothes.)

Ashley Greene, who plays Alice and apparently likes to drink and talk, told some fools all about it at a Golden Globes party last night, though Vanessa's reps will not confirm it.

This news doesn't infuriate me! It's so ridic that I might actually like it. Now let's just pray that neither Nessie ends up CGI!

New Moon is slated to come out a year from Twilight's release, on November 20, 2009.