Bristol Palin's Baby Daddy

Nice choice for her personal Paulie Bleecker! "Sexy asshole" pic courtesy of the Huffington Post.

Levi Johnston is a self-described "fuckin' redneck" who in his spare time likes to "shoot some shit" and impregnate girls. He was arrested last year for stealing salmon . . . out of a lake.

Levi's mom says he's "not facing any pressure to marry" Bristol. Which is the most hilarious thing I've read about him yet.

While I do think it's cool that Bristol decided to have her baby Jamie Lynn-style, I also think we all know that they'll be married by the time Sarah snipes the Thanksgiving turkey from her bedroom window while changing her own baby's diaper and shopping for bulk Aquanet online.

SOUNDTRACK: "Papa Don't Preach" by Madonna.