Thursday, January 29

Celebrities Beware!

It turns out that if you name your kid something like Honor (left) she may be anything but honorable. A new study rolling out from Shippensburg University in Pennsylvania has determined that the more absurd a child's name is, the more likely that little peep will grow up to commit crimes in high school rather than become your general slacker jock or slutty color guard girl.

The study created a popularity-name index for many children's names. Michael was the most popular, recieving a PIN number of 100. Names like Ivan and Malcolm came in at 1.

If Malcolm, not insanely uncommon per se, rated the lowest of the names measured, things are certainly not looking good for children named Pilot Inspektor (Jason Lee), Bronx Mowgli (those Simpson-Wentzes), Peanut (Jonny Lee Miller), Audio Science (Shannyn Sossamon) and Jermajesty (Jermaine Jackson).

And if you think about it, it makes perfect sense—these kids are pissed off! The study noted that "juveniles with unpopular names may act out because they consciously or unconsciously dislike their names."

Let's all fight to make the world a better place; this news couldn't come at a better time! If you can no longer afford to donate to charity or volunteer your time, all you gotta do is get pregs and name that baby John!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY: Andrew Keegan! Remember him? 10 Things I Hate About You! That fool is 30 already.

Monday, January 12

Vanessa Hudgens To Get Naked In "New Moon"

Well, technically, at least, if she is awarded the role she has recently auditioned for! Vaness, who is famous for her role as Gabriela in High School Musical, along with being an internet porn star via some leaked nekkid pics, is vying for the role of Leah, the sole female werewolf in Jacob Black's posse. (Werewolves don't wear clothes.)

Ashley Greene, who plays Alice and apparently likes to drink and talk, told some fools all about it at a Golden Globes party last night, though Vanessa's reps will not confirm it.

This news doesn't infuriate me! It's so ridic that I might actually like it. Now let's just pray that neither Nessie ends up CGI!

New Moon is slated to come out a year from Twilight's release, on November 20, 2009.