Cellar Door

It's happening. It's been 7 years since the unparalleled original, starring the near-unknown Gyllenhaal 'blings and Jena Malone in the only role where you don't want her killed off. Official word is out that there will in fact be a Donnie Darko sequel released next year.

The movie, S. Darko, will take place in the summer of '95 and will follow Samantha Darko.

Here's where it gets scary. The sequel will not be written and directed by Richard Kelly, as one can clearly tell from the synopsis: The car carrying Samantha and her BFF breaks down on a trip across the country; they're driving to L.A. to "make it big" when "weird stuff starts happening." Frank is not nearly as frightening as cliches like that. Kelly and his team are very much against the sequel, in which no other actor returns with he exception of Samantha's portrayer. Meaning there were quite a few roles to fill.

And here's where it gets fantastic: The movie stars Chuck Bass.

I'm not done. Also booked to appear in the film is James Lafferty, a.k.a. Nathan Scott. While the idea that these new directors will turn a truly brilliant, eerie and enigmatic film into a cheap horror movie makes me feel a little ill, there's nothing I can resist less than a star of One Tree Hill.