After 10 long years of being pushed aside like James Marsden in every movie he's in except 27 Dresses, the magical genre of Disney cartoons is returning to reclaim the throne from computer animation! I know, I know, fools love them some Toy Story, etc. But as a child of the '80s/'90s, let me say that people in their single digits are missing out on something today.
Alas, they must wait no longer. Well, they gotta wait 'til Christmas; might as well just build on that anxiety. Holiday '09 will bring the The Princess and the Frog, a heartwarming tale of beastiality in which a beautiful princess must make out with a frog in order to get herself a man. There are no hottie sailing princes or muscle-y Germans, as the fairytale is set in America, in New Orleans, during the Jazz Age. Which sounds pretty sweet.
The P & the F is generating a lot of press lately because of conversations that have pretty much gone like this:
The Media: Princess and the Frog! Princess Tiana is the first Black Disney princess!
Disney: Hello! Stop shortchanging us! We are double-fisting these pints of social progress--Tiana is the first Black Disney princess and the first AMERICAN Disney princess!
Jezebel.com: Wow . . . wow. Um. POCAHONTAS?!?
Peeps who run kids' stuff are so silly. But I repeat: Black, American, great. The best part of this is that Tiana is a cartoon! But don't get your hopes up girl. I doubt that frog's gonna be hotter than Ariel's man.
(And in case you were wondering, yeah, Oprah's in it.)